THIS ONE ALSO
Every morning, I make the bed, walk the dogs, clean up the inevitable overnight messes that come with having five pets, feed the five pets in two groups, do last night’s dishes while the water boils, make coffee, make breakfast, and sit down at my kitchen table to read or listen to a podcast or check e-mail. Every morning, I skim headlines, set aside longer articles I don’t have time to read, make a few notes for story or essay ideas I don’t have time to pursue, and rush through shower-dress-get-out-the-door in time to not be more than five minutes late for work. I make my long commute to my long day of desk-sitting, and even though it’s for a cause I care about, and the people are uniformly kind and smart, and I could have it so much worse, even though. It’s not engaging and it’s not challenging and I am sinking. Sometimes it’s gradual, a slow seep that I can wade through without getting dragged down. Lately it’s like there’s a hole blasted through me and I’m taking on water faster than I can bale. I’m watching my intention and motivation drift away as all my energy goes towards keeping my head above water. Maybe it would be different if I was making an actual living at the tasks I spend most of my hours doing. Maybe I would feel better if I had anything to show for all this time spent. Maybe I would be better if I could suck it up and stop feeling like I deserve anything more than what I’ve cultivated for myself, which is fine, it’s just fine, everything is fine.
This has been some complaining couched in drowning metaphor. Here is a picture of four cats and a sinking boat.
that’s the missoula I know and love
(Source: screenshotsofdespair, via robdelaney)
Thought this might come in handy as a reaction gif someday :)
anyone want to talk about my deep, deep boner for jason mantzoukas? okay, I’ll start: i have a raging, major boner for jason mantzoukas. good talk.
The September issue is NOW AVAILABLE!
This illustration of Jack Black is awakening feelings I thought I had put to rest long ago also this issue of BWDR contains an essay I wrote about Il Postino, teaching, and my favorite teacher. Two bucks for the issue! That’s a serious bargain.